So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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