and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
