Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
