Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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