I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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