getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
