i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
