I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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