evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
