The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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