your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
