David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
