It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
