the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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