now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
