i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
