please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This is classic penis vs brain.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
