I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
