Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
