They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
