Cold hands, warm shart.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
