I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
