Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize