sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
