Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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