is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
