Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just had sex bonerless
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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