I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
