We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
