wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I supernannyed him into submission
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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