So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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