Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you made out with another girl for some wings
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
