Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
