Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
