8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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