I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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