Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
