i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
