The best revenge is premature balding
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
