She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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