you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
