So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
