its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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