dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
