Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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