I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
