So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
