Screwed.edu
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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