I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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