you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
