So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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